Wasted Life
by Polgara7
Summary: RH Pairing. Songfic w lyrics from Counting Crows' "A Murder of One." Ron stumbles upon Hermione watching the sunrise and decides to join her, only to end up engaging in a pre-dawn snog.


**Disclaimer: Characters belong to J. K. Rowling of course. Lyrics (italicized) belong to Counting Crows.**

**This is meant to be a one-shot, but I don't know, I might come back and finish the cliff-hanger.**

_Blue morning Blue morning_

_Wrapped in stands of fist and bone_

_Curiosity, Kitten, doesn't have to_

_Mean you're on your own_

_You can look outside your window_

_He doesn't have to know we can talk awhile, baby_

_We can take it nice and slow_

_All your life is such a shame shame shame_

_All your love is just a dream dream dream_

                She looked beautiful there, just sitting by a window, brown hair flowing to her lower back, curling naturally at the ends where they folded just below her waist. Ron could stare at Hermione Granger all day…just so long as she didn't know. And here she was sitting at the window in the Gryffindor Common Room at six o'clock, watching the sunrise while simultaneously giving Ron a very lovely view of the back of her head.

                _Oh well,_ he thought, _it is a rather lovely head._ Besides, that wasn't the only thing he could look at with her back turned to him and he let his gaze follow down the long strands of her mahogany hair to where they rested right over her bottom, a decidedly very nice bottom, in his eyes.

                Yet, he couldn't stare at her this long without feeling a pang deep in his heart because he knew he couldn't have her, she belonged to another, and not just any other, but his best friend. He couldn't understand how Harry had got to her before him, he'd always thought since the end of their fourth year that she would eventually end up with him, but then he blinked one summer and before he could open his eyes again she was gone, with Harry, all summer-long, coming back to school the next fall practically attached at the hip. 

                She sighed; he swallowed, deeply.

                _Oh Bloody Hell! Why don't you just make your move?_ His treacherous id told him.

                _Because she's your best friend's girl and you would never betray him like that,_ replied his ever annoyingly rational conscience.

                _You're going to regret it,_ the id chimed in again, _look at her, she looks lonely, and you're the only one around here to comfort her._

_                Yes, but her boyfriend is just upstairs and once he wakes up I don't think he'd appreciate that type of logic._

There was that annoying conscience again, always ruining his plans, but saving him from embarrassment countless times. He decided he would choose the safe road and listen to the inner angel.

_Are you happy when you're sleeping?_

_Does he keep you safe and warm?_

_Does he tell you when you're sorry?_

_Does he tell you when you're wrong?_

_I've been watching you for hours_

_It's been year since we were born_

_We were perfect when we started_

_I've been wondering where we've gone_

_All your life is such a shame shame shame_

_All your love is just a dream dream dream_

               "Ron?" Hermione's voice rang clearly like a bell in his ear just as he began to retreat up the boys' staircases.

                He stiffened "Yes?"

                "What are you doing up so early?" She was looking straight at him, her eyes questioning him, but she was smiling. God, he loved her smile.

                "I was just planning to watch the sunrise, but I see you got the jump on me and stole the front row seat," he said, training his tone to be nonchalant.

                She giggled. "I didn't know you liked to watch the sunrise, I've always been the only one down here."

                "Well, I wouldn't want to bother you when you're alone," Ron said as he prepared to climb the staircase.

                "Oh, no, no, I didn't mean that I _wanted_ to be alone," she called back to him. Lowering her lashes as she stared at her shoes, she said the next words in an almost inaudible whisper: "I would love for you to stay with me."

                _Is this a dream?_ Ron thought. The pragmatic part of him told him that he should politely decline, but this time the inner demon won. "I'd love to stay with you too, Herm."

                A shy smile lit up her face as he slowly strode over to her, taking her hand and sitting back down with her in front of the window. They both spoke little as they looked towards the east, their hands firmly clasped.

                Unconsciously, her head dropped onto his shoulder, and her finger began to caress his knuckles, although this did not go unnoticed by Ron. 

                "Hermione?" he said, his voice trembling, "wha-what are you doing?"

                "Mmm, nothing," she replied, her eyes fixed on the first rays of sunlight as they crested over the horizon.

                Taking this as a sign, Ron pulled his arm around her shoulders, bringing her in closer to his side; he planted an innocent kiss on her forehead.

                _Hey! Keep those lips to yourself!_ There was that annoying voice again, screaming from inside of him, but he chose to muffle it as he began to stroke her upper forearm, planting yet another kiss on the very tip of her ear, light and feathery. The only signal that Hermione gave that she felt his gentle touch was a small approving sound at the back of her throat.

                She wasn't pulling away: this was definitely a good sign.

                A bright yellow chord of light began to slowly edge itself into the sky, lifting the great semi-circle of the sun to settle high into the atmosphere, scattering the light pinks, purples, and blues of the early morning, chasing the dark grayness of dusk. Hermione took her hand from his and placed it around his waist, edging even closer to him on the window seat. Ron responded by softly blowing into the bangs that covered her forehead, following his breath with his fingers to brush the short brown locks aside to make room for his warm mouth.

                It was another innocent kiss, a soft touch, as the sky lightened into a tender baby blue. Hermione's eyelids drooped lower into a seeming slumber as the kiss crossed the platonic line. Somehow his mouth had found her neck and he began to lick it, still smoothly and softly, always gentle as he trailed his moist tongue across the pale silky curve of her skin. His arms tightened around her, pulling her into his lap, all the while his head lay nuzzled against her neck. Her hands wound themselves around his back, tugging at the cloth, silently begging for more.

                All around them the world began to wake up as the light of dawn scattered the dark and stillness of the night, but these two were yet sleeping, lost in the drugging slumber world they'd created. 

                Ron was the first to feel the change, startled, he bit into her neck. Hermione gasped, but it was a sound of pleasure that only encouraged Ron to take her mouth in a frenzied kiss. The gentleness before sunrise was gone, now it was all rush, all hurry as they struggled to savor the last minutes of their sleep, before they were woken up.

                His kisses became sloppy and wet, as he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, grazing it with his teeth before taking her upper lip and doing the same. Tugging her closer, he pressed her firm breasts against his hard chest, winding her legs around his waist as he slipped his tongue into her eager warm mouth. She was responding just as fiercely now, raking her nails across his broad back, grinding her hips into his, moaning into his open mouth. He wondered if she was like this with Harry. And then it was over.

                Ron stiffened suddenly. The thought of Harry and her being this intimate with him shattered the hazy dream world in which they were living. The tender rays of first light were now blazing brightly as they shone through the window, searing the young couple's eyes as they sprang apart.

                Hermione gazed at Ron with wide disbelieving eyes, as if realizing something for the first time. All Ron could do was stare back at her swollen lips, swollen tempting lips. She bit the lower one in concentration. He groaned inwardly, _oh god, I have to get out of here._

                Without another word, Ron left her standing there in the harsh light of morning, as he went back to his dorm room, something he should have done a few minutes ago.

                "Hey mate, where've you been?" came Harry's muffled voice from the bed next to his.

                "I was watching the sunrise," Ron replied, before hopping into bed without another word.

_I dreamt I saw you walking up a_

_Hillside in the snow_

_Casting shadows on the winter sky as_

_You stood there counting crows_

_One for sorrow_

_Two for joy_

_Three for girls and four for boys_

_Five for silver_

_Six for gold_

_Seven for a secret never to be told_

                Years later, when they'd graduated, Hermione would think back to that early morning encounter with her close friend, when they'd gotten even closer. She would shudder to think at the way he'd touched and tantalized her, just before snogging her senseless. _And, dear gods, the thrill, the thrill of getting caught, that someone might walk in on them at any time and I could've cared less._

                She thought she might not have even cared if Harry had walked in on them. And then he had stopped it, _so suddenly._ It started gradually, a progression of slight touches and affectionate gestures to passionate kisses and urgent gropes, but it ended in a blast, as if a wall had all of sudden rose up from the ground to separate them. He had just pushed her off of his lap and stood up. And then he left, leaving her wanting more, so much more. That kind of passion she had never felt with Harry, she feared she would never feel it again.

                It was this fear that made her realize that all Harry and she had been to each other were friends, seeing something that wasn't there, seeking comfort and companionship in the wrong ways. They broke it off soon after graduation, but Ron had not been there to comfort her after her breakup, he had left so suddenly to seek a job with his brother Charlie in Romania. She hadn't seen him since and she regretted not telling him what she felt for him sooner.

_There's a bird that nests inside you_

_Sleeping underneath your skin_

_When you open up your wings to speak_

_I wish you'd let me in_

_All your life is such a shame shame shame_

_All your love is just a dream dream dream_

_Open up your eyes_

_You can see the flames flames flames_

_Of your wasted life_

_You should be ashamed_

_You don't want to waste your life_

_Change_


End file.
